My actual family story is really quite strange or maybe its not anymore. I have 2 brothers Shane & Zachary. I also have 3 sisters Alexandra, Caroline and Jaclyn. No my mom and dad didn't have 6 kids.
Here in iowa my family was never called blended, or stepmoms or step dads or step brothers or sisters.
Laura Kramer was giving the title MOM from me pretty much right away! I never once felt any different that My brother or sister ( Zach & Alex) I was her child too, she showed me the same amount of love that she did for my siblings. When i would come for christmas or summer she would be so happy when she saw me she would cry. I am often told of the time that i ran past my father and right into her arms saying "mommy mommy"
I had my own things in iowa, my own clothes, toys, bike ect. I am sure that my mom and dad had things for me even when they weren't sure they would ever see me. Even when they were spending THOUSANDS of dollars to get rights to see me.
I plan to do the same. Yesterday I had gotten some cute little storage boxes for my 3 kids ( Yes 3 )
Kinnick, Danielle & Lily ( She is my fiances daughter ) I have met her this last summer and she is a beautiful child who looks like her daddy and is so full of life and energy!
I have been starting to collect things for lily so whenever she comes home to see her daddy she has her own things, I want her to know that she is loved and cared about. I dont know if I will ever be able to be the mom that she didnt have to be. I just hope that someday I can show her the same kind of love that i was shown. I know my mom was at my dads side fighting for me.
Just as I am by Todd's side fighting for lily.
I dont know the details of the struggles my daddy had to go through, I just know that it must have been very hard. I understand more now because of the battle my fiance is in now. Its the hardest thing in the world to watch someone you love with all of your heart suffering and struggling to just be a part of his child's life. I struggle watching him lose hope, with the lies being told and the accusations being spoke.
I refuse to give up, I wont ever allow him to give up either. Lily will be with us eventually and she will know that she is loved, she will have her own things. She is a beautiful child that if some day she ran past her daddy and ran to me.. my heart would melt into liquid! I dream for the day that her daddy can be blessed with being able to have her in his arms and be a father to his child the way he should be allowed to.
You dont have to like your ex, you dont have to like his new significant other. You do however have to love your child and you should want them to have a father. No one can TAKE your role as a mother, your role will never change no matter what. Dont be afraid of someone loving your child, its not a bad thing! No one can replace you but its truly a blessing to have someone love your child when they dont have to.
I will continue to acquire things for Lily, I will make sure that she knows we have never given up on being a part of her life. She will know someday how hard we have tried. We will never talk badly about her mother, no matter how badly she has spoke of us and no matter how many times she lies. We simply want whats in the best interest of the child. The child who skypes with her daddy and you can see she loves him, she is well aware of WHO he is.
Its more harm to her to prevent a natural loving relationship between her and her father. I often wonder if people actually think preventing parenting time is beneficial to a child, or if its just out of selfish fear. Im blessed and my children are blessed because they have SO many people who love them. I am thankful for the extra hands and hearts that hold my kids when i can not, and show love for my child when i can not.
Step parents are people who are strong enough to love a child, when they didnt have to! Thats a great thing!
- chelsea
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